Week 6: August 10
My biggest fear is the culture shock and the absence of my fellow ETAs. The presence of other ETAs has provided an invaluable support network and an immense resource for me, and I know all of us will realize this when we arrive at our respective home stay locations and cities. The biggest fear will be a sense of loneliness. On the flip side, I am most looking forward to adjusting to the new city and the plethora of opportunities Jeonju will potentially have for me.
Week 5: August 3
1. Of the optional supplemental talks given during Camp Fulbright, which one had the greatest impact on you? What did you learn? How did this shape your perception of yourself, your role here, and your concept of Korea?
The talk that had the greatest impact on me was the one focused on Korean-Americans. I gained mostly from the discussion that revealed the wide variety of issues all in the workshop (KA or no) shared. The only expectation I have had about this coming year with consideration of my identity is the potential difference in my experience than those of others. The number of issues that people raised during the discussions were new to me, and only heightened my awareness and deepened the questions I may face.
I can say that the most memorable anecdote over the past two weeks, and that which will remain with me the rest of this year was told by Christina the OC who recalled her mother's response to her expressing her difficulties. In considering what trials I may face, I--like Christina--should be mindful of what I have relative to the other ETAs; family, relatives, and a very strong network that will be more than happy to help me no matter the circumstance. I must not forget that this is a great privilege that only a few ETAs have here, and that most of the ETAs' best resources will in fact only be each other and perhaps the KAEC/Fulbright.
2. You’ve heard from multiple speakers in the past weeks; what is the most memorable piece of advice you’ve received about being a Fulbright ETA? Please briefly describe how you will use this advice after Orientation.
"Your experience will be what you make of it."
On the eve of placement announcements, I have been telling myself the importance of this platitude. We have heard this saying with a frequency second only to our favorite answer, "It all depends," but the trite saying is exactly so because of the weighty truth that it bears. I am not convinced that the world has been made for us, much less that we human beings--much less each individual person--are somehow by nature more privileged than other elements in the land. We are both blessed to accomplish extraordinary--sometimes nearly divine--feats, and cursed to dwell in the darkest alleys of human vice and imperfection. I do believe, however, that we are not automatons and that agency exists in the world. I believe that each of us has the power to acknowledge the realities we encounter and reflect upon it. Each of us can see the reality and consider how to interpret it and derive from it what value one wishes to garner. We can choose how to think about every "failure," every "success," and every unforeseen circumstance. We can choose to let one experience cripple us, or let it strengthen us. We can choose how we think, and how we will make the experiences of our lives. In this way those idioms that we always hear--Two sides to a coin, cup is half full/half empty, the chicken or the egg--really have some profound depth and truth to them.
I know this is easy for me to say this because I have lead only the most privileged of lives in the broadband view of the world's population. But I do believe in the power of thought, and the consequences it can have on the welfare and happiness of the self.
Since one began with a quotation, I shall end with a similar quotation that is a more digested version of what I have been trying to say: "It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things." (on life and success, T.S. Eliot)
3. What have you enjoyed most about Orientation so far?I have probably most enjoyed the people at Orientation. I have enjoyed talking to, learning from, and listening to the people, ranging from fellow ETAs and the OCs to speakers and the CIs. As I have learned to find the meeting of people and the congregations of humans as not only meaningful but nearly sacred, such experiences have been those which I have held with utmost value.
Week 4: July 27
Set A:
1. What is a challenge you are facing at this point in your adjustment? Is this an ongoing or new challenge, and how are you coping?
One of the biggest challenges I face now is actually to just make the most of my time here presently with the other ETAs and OCs before August 19th. Admittedly the challenge is somewhat removed from concerns of cultural "adjustment" per se, but since I value every minutia of time I spend here in Korea--in sickness and in health--I believe my time here with the community of fellow Fulbright members is just as significant as the times after orientation.
Hence the biggest challenge is to try to do everything in my power to override the more inconvenient aspects of the orientation site. Now, please don't misunderstand this message and judge this as an assault on the misgivings of orientation. There are so many elements of the location that I am grateful for and which I--and I'm sure many others--take for granted. I know that. Rather, I simply mean that the "serendipitous" meetings and casual conversations which I think many of us have been used to have been dampened by the sparse public common spaces and the accessibility of locations. All of this is of course exacerbated by the majority lacking cell phones, that infinite availability to accessibility of others to which many of us have grown so accustomed, or even dependent.
The situation has forced me to have a lot of initiative. I hope I find these efforts fulfilling.
Set B:
1. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned so far from your experiences with Camp Fulbright?
The biggest lesson I've learned so far is the tremendous effort, discipline, and energy that goes into teaching. I have gained tremendous appreciate and gratitude to all my teachers past and present, for I have gotten at least a glimpse of what kind of dedication and work they had to put in to not only teach as effectively as they did, but more importantly shape me in the profoundly inexplicable ways that they have.
Week 3: July 20th
1. Write a reflection on your time at Haeinsa. How did you spend your time? What was the best part of the trip? If you could do something differently, what would you do? etc.
The trip to Haeinsa was refreshing. I had been yearning for such a break for a long time now, a respite during which I could relax and reflect on the past two weeks. The trip to one of the most famous temples in the country proved to be more than that.
In retrospect, even our "hike" to the temple itself was rather meditative. While Jungwon University and Goesan of course have a lot to offer, being in the midst of mountain mist and lush forest trees was an exceptional experience. When the trees began to open up with the gates of Haeinsa, I knew we were in a different world.
The Friday visit felt rushed, so I knew I would be back for more on Saturday; and on Saturday, I paid my respects to the enlightened one just as I had done years before as a little child.
What struck me most about Haeinsa was its surprising modesty despite its reputation. I expected the statues and structures to be heavily ornamented and extremely decadent, but they stood without extravagance or great size, with a kind of humility that seemed to reflect the asceticism of Buddhist tenets and lifestyle. Even the reputed chambers housing thousands of woodblock prints of Buddha's teachings were extremely simple and clearly effective. I absorbed as much of the peace and ambiance that the place seemed to exude.
But as I bowed and whispered to myself the two prayers I knew from childhood, I wondered to what exactly my chanting, or even that of all the Buddhist monks, really amounted. I wondered for what purpose we bowed so heavily to these statues, for it seemed to violate the more introspective dimensions of Buddhist practices. I always thought Buddhism lay a vast distance away from many of the other world religions, but seeing everyone bow to these figurative idols made me actually question their similarities in practice.
I know so little about Buddhism, so much of what I say is out of blind ignorance. Yet as I continued to bow and focus on the inner peace that it entailed, I began to conceive my actions not as an end but as a means. The value derived from the bows is not what comes as a consequence of them, but instead the strength and peace of mind that such repetition produces. There is truth to the banality that religious practice is a practice; more a process of becoming than a strategic tool to attain some reward outside of oneself (that is, when looking at the inner workings of an individual; we all know that religious practice can be a powerful political tool, or even a weapon).
So as I bowed to the statues in the main sacred space, I told myself to clear the mind and just focus on the bows. I did not fight the thoughts of my home, my grandfathers, my friends or even my first two weeks of orientation that inevitably roamed my mind, but I also did not grapple with them. I acknowledged them and told myself that below the surface of this myriad of thoughts divine and evil, a good has sustained me and will continue to do so for as long as I choose. The practice of religion truly is a matter of mind over matter, and that itself takes practice.
In this way, I have come to concretely realize something I read recently. Each of us functions off a faith of some kind, be it JC or Allah or Yaweh or something other than deities. No matter how "atheist" one claims to be, deeply rooted in each of us is a faith in something beyond our individual kingdoms and subjectivity. The unified chanting by the monks Saturday morning, or the 84,000 wood block prints preserved for thousands of years, testify not just to the importance of upholding significant religious assets, but more to the incredible outcomes of the bonds of human fraternity and fortitude undergirded by an inexplicable faith of some kind (I say so because I myself am not religious). We live in this world together, and together we come to celebrate achievements, grapple with evils, and build off the legacy of our predecessors.
2. How have you been dealing with stress during Orientation? Please elaborate.
I have been fortunate enough to have befriended many warm and wonderful personalities here at orientation, and they have been my primary resources. Truthfully, I am unsure that I have really been "stressed" during Orientation, at least not in the traditionally frantic and anxiety-filled way. My only duress has come from adjusting to a new world and being away from the old. Still, I must be honest to myself and say that being surrounded by such great people has really made having a bad day difficult. I feel extremely fortunate.
Week 2: July 13
1. What preparations do you feel you still have to make for Departure Day and your life after Orientation?
Unfortunately I feel I have not had enough time the past couple of weeks to even consider this question, much less reflect. Honestly despite that we have finished the finals, all the additional work (i.e. presentation), meetings, and workshops that still exist have made the past couple of weeks--and frankly the coming week as well--very difficult. As such, the only preparations I feel I "still have to make" are logistical things such as packaging presents and packing my things.
2. What is your biggest fear about your first week at your placement? What are you most looking forward to during your first week at your placement?
Unfortunately I feel I have not had enough time the past couple of weeks to even consider this question, much less reflect. Honestly despite that we have finished the finals, all the additional work (i.e. presentation), meetings, and workshops that still exist have made the past couple of weeks--and frankly the coming week as well--very difficult. As such, the only preparations I feel I "still have to make" are logistical things such as packaging presents and packing my things.
2. What is your biggest fear about your first week at your placement? What are you most looking forward to during your first week at your placement?
My biggest fear is the culture shock and the absence of my fellow ETAs. The presence of other ETAs has provided an invaluable support network and an immense resource for me, and I know all of us will realize this when we arrive at our respective home stay locations and cities. The biggest fear will be a sense of loneliness. On the flip side, I am most looking forward to adjusting to the new city and the plethora of opportunities Jeonju will potentially have for me.
Week 5: August 3
1. Of the optional supplemental talks given during Camp Fulbright, which one had the greatest impact on you? What did you learn? How did this shape your perception of yourself, your role here, and your concept of Korea?
The talk that had the greatest impact on me was the one focused on Korean-Americans. I gained mostly from the discussion that revealed the wide variety of issues all in the workshop (KA or no) shared. The only expectation I have had about this coming year with consideration of my identity is the potential difference in my experience than those of others. The number of issues that people raised during the discussions were new to me, and only heightened my awareness and deepened the questions I may face.
I can say that the most memorable anecdote over the past two weeks, and that which will remain with me the rest of this year was told by Christina the OC who recalled her mother's response to her expressing her difficulties. In considering what trials I may face, I--like Christina--should be mindful of what I have relative to the other ETAs; family, relatives, and a very strong network that will be more than happy to help me no matter the circumstance. I must not forget that this is a great privilege that only a few ETAs have here, and that most of the ETAs' best resources will in fact only be each other and perhaps the KAEC/Fulbright.
2. You’ve heard from multiple speakers in the past weeks; what is the most memorable piece of advice you’ve received about being a Fulbright ETA? Please briefly describe how you will use this advice after Orientation.
"Your experience will be what you make of it."
On the eve of placement announcements, I have been telling myself the importance of this platitude. We have heard this saying with a frequency second only to our favorite answer, "It all depends," but the trite saying is exactly so because of the weighty truth that it bears. I am not convinced that the world has been made for us, much less that we human beings--much less each individual person--are somehow by nature more privileged than other elements in the land. We are both blessed to accomplish extraordinary--sometimes nearly divine--feats, and cursed to dwell in the darkest alleys of human vice and imperfection. I do believe, however, that we are not automatons and that agency exists in the world. I believe that each of us has the power to acknowledge the realities we encounter and reflect upon it. Each of us can see the reality and consider how to interpret it and derive from it what value one wishes to garner. We can choose how to think about every "failure," every "success," and every unforeseen circumstance. We can choose to let one experience cripple us, or let it strengthen us. We can choose how we think, and how we will make the experiences of our lives. In this way those idioms that we always hear--Two sides to a coin, cup is half full/half empty, the chicken or the egg--really have some profound depth and truth to them.
I know this is easy for me to say this because I have lead only the most privileged of lives in the broadband view of the world's population. But I do believe in the power of thought, and the consequences it can have on the welfare and happiness of the self.
Since one began with a quotation, I shall end with a similar quotation that is a more digested version of what I have been trying to say: "It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things." (on life and success, T.S. Eliot)
3. What have you enjoyed most about Orientation so far?I have probably most enjoyed the people at Orientation. I have enjoyed talking to, learning from, and listening to the people, ranging from fellow ETAs and the OCs to speakers and the CIs. As I have learned to find the meeting of people and the congregations of humans as not only meaningful but nearly sacred, such experiences have been those which I have held with utmost value.
Week 4: July 27
Set A:
1. What is a challenge you are facing at this point in your adjustment? Is this an ongoing or new challenge, and how are you coping?
One of the biggest challenges I face now is actually to just make the most of my time here presently with the other ETAs and OCs before August 19th. Admittedly the challenge is somewhat removed from concerns of cultural "adjustment" per se, but since I value every minutia of time I spend here in Korea--in sickness and in health--I believe my time here with the community of fellow Fulbright members is just as significant as the times after orientation.
Hence the biggest challenge is to try to do everything in my power to override the more inconvenient aspects of the orientation site. Now, please don't misunderstand this message and judge this as an assault on the misgivings of orientation. There are so many elements of the location that I am grateful for and which I--and I'm sure many others--take for granted. I know that. Rather, I simply mean that the "serendipitous" meetings and casual conversations which I think many of us have been used to have been dampened by the sparse public common spaces and the accessibility of locations. All of this is of course exacerbated by the majority lacking cell phones, that infinite availability to accessibility of others to which many of us have grown so accustomed, or even dependent.
The situation has forced me to have a lot of initiative. I hope I find these efforts fulfilling.
Set B:
1. What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned so far from your experiences with Camp Fulbright?
The biggest lesson I've learned so far is the tremendous effort, discipline, and energy that goes into teaching. I have gained tremendous appreciate and gratitude to all my teachers past and present, for I have gotten at least a glimpse of what kind of dedication and work they had to put in to not only teach as effectively as they did, but more importantly shape me in the profoundly inexplicable ways that they have.
Week 3: July 20th
1. Write a reflection on your time at Haeinsa. How did you spend your time? What was the best part of the trip? If you could do something differently, what would you do? etc.
The trip to Haeinsa was refreshing. I had been yearning for such a break for a long time now, a respite during which I could relax and reflect on the past two weeks. The trip to one of the most famous temples in the country proved to be more than that.
In retrospect, even our "hike" to the temple itself was rather meditative. While Jungwon University and Goesan of course have a lot to offer, being in the midst of mountain mist and lush forest trees was an exceptional experience. When the trees began to open up with the gates of Haeinsa, I knew we were in a different world.
The Friday visit felt rushed, so I knew I would be back for more on Saturday; and on Saturday, I paid my respects to the enlightened one just as I had done years before as a little child.
What struck me most about Haeinsa was its surprising modesty despite its reputation. I expected the statues and structures to be heavily ornamented and extremely decadent, but they stood without extravagance or great size, with a kind of humility that seemed to reflect the asceticism of Buddhist tenets and lifestyle. Even the reputed chambers housing thousands of woodblock prints of Buddha's teachings were extremely simple and clearly effective. I absorbed as much of the peace and ambiance that the place seemed to exude.
But as I bowed and whispered to myself the two prayers I knew from childhood, I wondered to what exactly my chanting, or even that of all the Buddhist monks, really amounted. I wondered for what purpose we bowed so heavily to these statues, for it seemed to violate the more introspective dimensions of Buddhist practices. I always thought Buddhism lay a vast distance away from many of the other world religions, but seeing everyone bow to these figurative idols made me actually question their similarities in practice.
I know so little about Buddhism, so much of what I say is out of blind ignorance. Yet as I continued to bow and focus on the inner peace that it entailed, I began to conceive my actions not as an end but as a means. The value derived from the bows is not what comes as a consequence of them, but instead the strength and peace of mind that such repetition produces. There is truth to the banality that religious practice is a practice; more a process of becoming than a strategic tool to attain some reward outside of oneself (that is, when looking at the inner workings of an individual; we all know that religious practice can be a powerful political tool, or even a weapon).
So as I bowed to the statues in the main sacred space, I told myself to clear the mind and just focus on the bows. I did not fight the thoughts of my home, my grandfathers, my friends or even my first two weeks of orientation that inevitably roamed my mind, but I also did not grapple with them. I acknowledged them and told myself that below the surface of this myriad of thoughts divine and evil, a good has sustained me and will continue to do so for as long as I choose. The practice of religion truly is a matter of mind over matter, and that itself takes practice.
In this way, I have come to concretely realize something I read recently. Each of us functions off a faith of some kind, be it JC or Allah or Yaweh or something other than deities. No matter how "atheist" one claims to be, deeply rooted in each of us is a faith in something beyond our individual kingdoms and subjectivity. The unified chanting by the monks Saturday morning, or the 84,000 wood block prints preserved for thousands of years, testify not just to the importance of upholding significant religious assets, but more to the incredible outcomes of the bonds of human fraternity and fortitude undergirded by an inexplicable faith of some kind (I say so because I myself am not religious). We live in this world together, and together we come to celebrate achievements, grapple with evils, and build off the legacy of our predecessors.
2. How have you been dealing with stress during Orientation? Please elaborate.
I have been fortunate enough to have befriended many warm and wonderful personalities here at orientation, and they have been my primary resources. Truthfully, I am unsure that I have really been "stressed" during Orientation, at least not in the traditionally frantic and anxiety-filled way. My only duress has come from adjusting to a new world and being away from the old. Still, I must be honest to myself and say that being surrounded by such great people has really made having a bad day difficult. I feel extremely fortunate.
Week 2: July 13
Set 1: Language
B. How is learning a foreign language related to teaching one? What aspects of your language acquisition process will help you (or can you apply) in your future classroom? What techniques have you learned from your Korean language teachers that you’d like to model in your own classroom?
Born and raised in Korea until the age of 9, I can speak Korean comfortably and have a reasonable grasp of certain cultural and attitudinal subtleties of Korea that many other ETAs may not have. Having spent most of my adolescence in America however, I have also been able to easily converse and interact with my fellow ETAs. In light of this apparent bilingualism, many beginning ETAs have approached me for help. The experience has been humbling to say the least.
What has been most striking in trying to help has been the relentless clarity with which I needed to communicate. To my fellow ETAs, at root is the foreign nature of the ways one creates language--the new and unfamiliar "sounds" of Korean that are absolutely alien to their tongues and ears, but to which I have been accustom since I was young. The slightest variances in tone, pitch, and articulation can have tremendous impacts on the processing of language and thus its reproduction; I would repeat one vowel sound nearly perfectly without variation multiple times and still receive different recapitulations from the ETAs. I would have to relate it to an English sound or word to try to evoke a similar tone, and even then fail to elicit a closer sound. Helping other ETAs acquire some handle on this new and foreign language has demanded from me a level of clarity and pedagogical transparency I had not practiced before.
Of course, I won't be teaching Korean to the Korean students. But like pedagogy, language too--in my humble opinion--hinders less on the content of communication but more the methods and techniques. The experience has already illuminated not only a little about education, teaching and linguistic practices, but also my own idiosyncrasies of speech and how I can better myself to become the most effective teacher possible.
Set 2: Korea
B. What are two things you can get in Korea that you can’t get at home? What does the addition of these things/options in your life mean to you?
One thing you can certainly get in Korea is the cornucopia of at-least-reasonable Korean food. Indeed, even the cafeteria food has been at least very reasonable, though not the best (the best always seem to come from some familial setting). Another thing you can get here in Korea is also an eternal supply of excessively and gratuitously "cute" things, rivaling only that of its former colonizers, Japan (one might argue the distinction between them is a tenuous one due to the long history held between the two countries). The addition of the former actually means something to my life, but the latter less so. Just as there are two sides to a coin, the addition of these two options also lead to a necessary loss of other things. I could really go for a burrito right now.
Set 3: Orientation
A. Do you think life in Korea will be easier or harder after Orientation ends? Why?
A cognizant and thoughtful answer to this question would claim that life after orientation will not be a matter of the degree of ease, and proceed to demonstrate the unfair assumptions underbidding the question. This standard liberal-arts answer would illustrate a balanced and poignant perspective of the pros and cons, the goods and bads of both orientation and life post-orientation, and conclude that one cannot justifiably compare the two "lives" on equal grounds ("" since this is one life, after all).
I know this and could take this route, but my premonitions tell me that a life away from a close-knit community of wonderful, intelligent, and energetic group of young professionals may indeed prove more difficult, at least in the beginning. The hope is that I will have little time to let this reality hit.
Born and raised in Korea until the age of 9, I can speak Korean comfortably and have a reasonable grasp of certain cultural and attitudinal subtleties of Korea that many other ETAs may not have. Having spent most of my adolescence in America however, I have also been able to easily converse and interact with my fellow ETAs. In light of this apparent bilingualism, many beginning ETAs have approached me for help. The experience has been humbling to say the least.
What has been most striking in trying to help has been the relentless clarity with which I needed to communicate. To my fellow ETAs, at root is the foreign nature of the ways one creates language--the new and unfamiliar "sounds" of Korean that are absolutely alien to their tongues and ears, but to which I have been accustom since I was young. The slightest variances in tone, pitch, and articulation can have tremendous impacts on the processing of language and thus its reproduction; I would repeat one vowel sound nearly perfectly without variation multiple times and still receive different recapitulations from the ETAs. I would have to relate it to an English sound or word to try to evoke a similar tone, and even then fail to elicit a closer sound. Helping other ETAs acquire some handle on this new and foreign language has demanded from me a level of clarity and pedagogical transparency I had not practiced before.
Of course, I won't be teaching Korean to the Korean students. But like pedagogy, language too--in my humble opinion--hinders less on the content of communication but more the methods and techniques. The experience has already illuminated not only a little about education, teaching and linguistic practices, but also my own idiosyncrasies of speech and how I can better myself to become the most effective teacher possible.
Set 2: Korea
B. What are two things you can get in Korea that you can’t get at home? What does the addition of these things/options in your life mean to you?
One thing you can certainly get in Korea is the cornucopia of at-least-reasonable Korean food. Indeed, even the cafeteria food has been at least very reasonable, though not the best (the best always seem to come from some familial setting). Another thing you can get here in Korea is also an eternal supply of excessively and gratuitously "cute" things, rivaling only that of its former colonizers, Japan (one might argue the distinction between them is a tenuous one due to the long history held between the two countries). The addition of the former actually means something to my life, but the latter less so. Just as there are two sides to a coin, the addition of these two options also lead to a necessary loss of other things. I could really go for a burrito right now.
Set 3: Orientation
A. Do you think life in Korea will be easier or harder after Orientation ends? Why?
A cognizant and thoughtful answer to this question would claim that life after orientation will not be a matter of the degree of ease, and proceed to demonstrate the unfair assumptions underbidding the question. This standard liberal-arts answer would illustrate a balanced and poignant perspective of the pros and cons, the goods and bads of both orientation and life post-orientation, and conclude that one cannot justifiably compare the two "lives" on equal grounds ("" since this is one life, after all).
I know this and could take this route, but my premonitions tell me that a life away from a close-knit community of wonderful, intelligent, and energetic group of young professionals may indeed prove more difficult, at least in the beginning. The hope is that I will have little time to let this reality hit.
Week 1: July 6
1. What were you most worried about before coming to Korea? Why?
Over the past two months, I graduated from college, moved back home to see my folks, went on a road trip with my friends, had a fantastic two-week vacation with my ...significant other, and finally arrived in Korea. That is to say, much has happened. Throughout the flurry of activities, I have had little time to reflect on these experiences and constantly wish I had more time for such practice. I think there is tremendous value in trying to evaluate one's experiences and try to derive a greater sense of self and the world from the process, no matter how futile it may actually be. And yet this was my greatest issue; that I would not have a chance to reflect on what have been momentous occasions.
Fortunately, this CAC itself has been a good start to relieve this great pressure that has been building up within me. I can see now that during my last week in America, my anxieties and excitement for the imminent life-changing year-long experience became embroiled with my greatest worries about leaving home, my friends, and my significant other... Each worry, concern, fear became indistinguishably mixed with each joy, anxiety, and delight. I can recall the last few hours at home vividly, when my systematic and unconscious packing-labored mind regained consciousness and realized at once the meaning of my imminent departure. My heart sank, and I began to cherish the window-sills, the doors, the shoes, the summer, and all the things that I would leave behind. The farewell with my brother when he dropped me off at the airport was quite difficult. He was fine though, haha.
Now I realize this may all be heavily dramatized, and I can only assume that the OC coordinators are getting a kick out of my rather theatrical--if not also poor--writing. I would not be offended, only delighted to know that I could be the source of some laughs or smiles.
To answer the question, maybe I can say that like any other human being, I worried mostly about loss. Psychology would attest that humans are more loss-averse than they are gain-inclined, and I proved no exception. I was worried about the things I would not have, the experiences I would miss, and the people I would be without. I worried about that which I would not have, rather than that which I would gain. The availability of the internet of course confounds this discussion greatly, but the immediacy of concerns--justified or not--felt very real.
Needless to say, the past few days have greatly eroded these worries away. I have already met some the magnificent people and have already been having some fantastic experiences in Korea. I feel greatly privileged to be here.
4. What are your top three goals for this Orientation? You might consider professional, personal and cross-cultural development.
My orientation goals are rather simple:
1) I seek to learn how to become an ETA, mostly with respect to teaching. I have nearly zero teaching experience and am very nervous for what will be a full-time teaching experience. I feel unprepared and incompetent, and I seek to steep myself in the rigors of the teaching workshops and the limited but invaluable practice opportunities I will have. I look forward to making mistakes and learning quickly to rectify them.
2) I hope to regain a handle on not only the Korean language, but also my identity. I have already begun noticing the profound influence context has on identity, such that the divide between "identity politics" and "the politics of identity" have become so hugely clear. Though there is more to say, I will illustrate this narrowly by saying my interactions with Korean students and my capacity to speak both languages decently well have produced a Pandora's Box of questions in my mind regarding how American I should be, when I should speak Korean, how much English I should speak, etc. I look forward to a journey of my own identity through deep cultural and sociological engagements with both my fellow ETAs and the native Koreans.
3) I hope to learn from my fellow ETAs and ETA coordinators. I have been astounded by the huge range of experiences and tremendous diversity of people that this orientation has brought together, and I can't imagine a deeper, more extensive, and more impressive set of resources to learn from that the very people with whom I will be eating, sleeping, and learning with for the next several weeks.
Over the past two months, I graduated from college, moved back home to see my folks, went on a road trip with my friends, had a fantastic two-week vacation with my ...significant other, and finally arrived in Korea. That is to say, much has happened. Throughout the flurry of activities, I have had little time to reflect on these experiences and constantly wish I had more time for such practice. I think there is tremendous value in trying to evaluate one's experiences and try to derive a greater sense of self and the world from the process, no matter how futile it may actually be. And yet this was my greatest issue; that I would not have a chance to reflect on what have been momentous occasions.
Fortunately, this CAC itself has been a good start to relieve this great pressure that has been building up within me. I can see now that during my last week in America, my anxieties and excitement for the imminent life-changing year-long experience became embroiled with my greatest worries about leaving home, my friends, and my significant other... Each worry, concern, fear became indistinguishably mixed with each joy, anxiety, and delight. I can recall the last few hours at home vividly, when my systematic and unconscious packing-labored mind regained consciousness and realized at once the meaning of my imminent departure. My heart sank, and I began to cherish the window-sills, the doors, the shoes, the summer, and all the things that I would leave behind. The farewell with my brother when he dropped me off at the airport was quite difficult. He was fine though, haha.
Now I realize this may all be heavily dramatized, and I can only assume that the OC coordinators are getting a kick out of my rather theatrical--if not also poor--writing. I would not be offended, only delighted to know that I could be the source of some laughs or smiles.
To answer the question, maybe I can say that like any other human being, I worried mostly about loss. Psychology would attest that humans are more loss-averse than they are gain-inclined, and I proved no exception. I was worried about the things I would not have, the experiences I would miss, and the people I would be without. I worried about that which I would not have, rather than that which I would gain. The availability of the internet of course confounds this discussion greatly, but the immediacy of concerns--justified or not--felt very real.
Needless to say, the past few days have greatly eroded these worries away. I have already met some the magnificent people and have already been having some fantastic experiences in Korea. I feel greatly privileged to be here.
4. What are your top three goals for this Orientation? You might consider professional, personal and cross-cultural development.
My orientation goals are rather simple:
1) I seek to learn how to become an ETA, mostly with respect to teaching. I have nearly zero teaching experience and am very nervous for what will be a full-time teaching experience. I feel unprepared and incompetent, and I seek to steep myself in the rigors of the teaching workshops and the limited but invaluable practice opportunities I will have. I look forward to making mistakes and learning quickly to rectify them.
2) I hope to regain a handle on not only the Korean language, but also my identity. I have already begun noticing the profound influence context has on identity, such that the divide between "identity politics" and "the politics of identity" have become so hugely clear. Though there is more to say, I will illustrate this narrowly by saying my interactions with Korean students and my capacity to speak both languages decently well have produced a Pandora's Box of questions in my mind regarding how American I should be, when I should speak Korean, how much English I should speak, etc. I look forward to a journey of my own identity through deep cultural and sociological engagements with both my fellow ETAs and the native Koreans.
3) I hope to learn from my fellow ETAs and ETA coordinators. I have been astounded by the huge range of experiences and tremendous diversity of people that this orientation has brought together, and I can't imagine a deeper, more extensive, and more impressive set of resources to learn from that the very people with whom I will be eating, sleeping, and learning with for the next several weeks.
