I have joined a writing blog with other Fulbright ETAs. Each week, there is a prompt to which we must respond. Below are my pieces. Some suck, some are readable, but more are coming.
***
#5
What sort of writing do you think would be absolutely impossible for you to undertake? Poetry? Drama? A story you never thought you could tell? A concept that you never considered would make any sense in written form? Try it.
I know, I know.
Okay, fine, I don't really know. And that's the problem.
That's always been the
Problem.
After all that you've done for me,
After all that I've done to you,
The best I can come up with is
This "poem"?
And I know you're laughing.
Maddened. Ridiculed.
How brazen of me to think I can write this now?
How arrogant of me to think that you would care?
How stupid am I really?
And I am. I am.
All of those things.
Stupendously, all of those things.
But you know I am no worsdmith,
No son of Shakespeare,
Nor Eliot's nephew.
So please, just humor me now.
I'm really trying hard here.
You know how much you mean to me.
You know that I need you.
You are my everything.
You are my life.
Here's to the shittiest love poem ever written.
I love you.
***
Words are words. They can mean so much, but they can also mean so little.
It depends.
***
[I was AWOL for this one and never really got around to doing it. I have a draft, but haven't finished it yet. Boo.]
***
I really wanted to write about something totally different last week.
Last week I asked, "why in the hell am I trying to answer this daunting prompt." What I really wanted to write about was why last week's prompt, "Tell us something about yourself" is always such a daunting proposition.*
*I refrained from doing so for fear of being perceived as a some pretentious false academic constantly striving to prove his "erudition" through some strange semblance of arm-chair philosophizing, when only to prove his vanity and, frankly, stupidity. That said, my sincere curiosity compels me to come back to this prompt; so if I end up looking like the above, well...then perhaps I am some pretentious false academic constantly striving to prove his "eruidition" through some strange semblance of arm-chair philosophizing, when only to prove my vanity and, frankly, stupidity.
You hear this at interviews, and some strange variation of this theme for any academic application, and even during some speed-dating type venues and in meeting peculiarly inquisitive people at the bar. Or creepers.
Perhaps I am presumptuous to think this is a daunting prompt, but I think I wouldn't be alone in saying that this is always a difficult proposition to address. It's always something you have to think about, even if only slightly.
Why?
What is it about telling another about yourself that makes the task so...just damn hard? Certainly there is the matter of just how much you are willing to confide and share with that other individual sitting across from the table brazen enough to be so forward with their coversational quips, but there is also a matter of what exactly these things are. Are they your daily activities and hobbies? Are they the kinds of movies that you watch, or the kinds of music you listen to? How about the kinds of friendships you have, what significance would they have and why would you not tell that other person about them? Or is your job more defining of who you are than anything you like or are passionate about, because frankly, that's what you do day-in and day-out, right?
But what about the things that allow you to have "chemistry" between people, for you to "click" with particular others? Do these excruciatingly inexplicable, undefinable traits have no place in your presentation of who you are? How do we consider who we are, and what are the factors that we conceive to define our individuality, our personality, our humanity? Are they merely things we act upon, or things from which we derive pleasures, or things that occur to us? Or are there other "intangibles" about ourselves which each of us can not only not articulate and express into communicable forms such as prose and words, but also simply not know? That is to say, what are the things "about yourself" that you're allowing to define you, at least in word and prose? What really constitutes who you are, and are these things communicable?
And is it really all worth it?
But there's really one thing you should know.
I like to ask questions.
#1: Tell us something about yourself.
I am no writer, much less a creative one. Nor am I much of a reader, much less a voracious one. So a part of me is asking why in the hell am I trying to answer this daunting prompt. And you, my dear reader, may be wondering the same thing.
But, for what it's worth, I like to think that my habits do not reflect well on my yearnings, for I yearn to write freely and creatively, to have words and prose flow like a mighty stream. I yearn to fly through the many pages of Tolstoy, or Marx, or Wallace (David Foster), and to invest in the ideas and stories that make us human. I believe in the sanctity of the arts, and as an amateur musician am a fervent patron of them. I aim to cultivate the deepest understanding of the arts, and the world of words is no exception.
So here I am, naked and vulnerable (disturbing sexual allusions [or "illusions" perhaps...?] aside), hanging by a thread that is my naive fascination with words, seeking the strength to climb the rope and become a more informed, wiser individual.
I look forward to learning from you all.
