Log13: First Lesson Ever and a Humbling Experience on a Revelatory Level

FIRST DAY

Wow teaching is a bit** of a job.

Let me first preface by saying that after venting to a friends and family for the past several hours, I feel much better than the following may suggest.  Regardless, I feel to share with you (and frankly myself too) my experiences would be worth the time and effort.

I am exhausted, drained, and mildly uplifted after a strenuous day.  In light of how much music has always meant to me, I feel as if someone walked over, took my flute and broke it in half.  Does that make sense?


Perspective.


What can I say?  The first class was as humbling as if I had been denied admission from every college I ever applied to.  I ATE IT.  It was bad.


Clearly, it might have been fruitful if I had prepared a bit more.  On the other hand, one may argue no amount of lesson-planning could have prepared me for my first classroom teaching experience.  Either way, the following is the given:

1. This is an all-boys high school.
2. Each class has about 40 students.
3. The class I teach is a conversational English class that--unlike other English classes that divide the students by ability levels--includes students of all abilities (near-fluent/fluent to asking for help with every statement I make) and all levels of motivation (engaged and enthusiastic learners to sleepers).
4. I look and sound like a Korean, like one of "them."
5. Unlike 95% of the other schools at which ETAs are placed, my school rarely utilizes the computer in class.  They have them, but 1. they are slow 2. they are locked 3. they require the teacher to bring his/her own mouse and keyboard separately.



In reality though, my most memorable and impressive classes never used technology.  But perhaps that's biasing my form of learning over others.  In an ideal world I would be within waving distance of the kind of impact that environment had on me.

The Lesson

Self-introduction
Rules
Two-truths-and-a-lie (write three statements about yourself, two of which are true and one of which is a lie.  Others will guess which of the statements is true). 

The Plan

Go in there, hard.  I will not have the advantage of captivating the students with a kind of "foreign" aesthetics or unfamiliar beauty (they were seriously confused at first).  I will have the opportunity to demonstrate to them that I will be their conversational English teacher.  I aim to subvert the students' expectations of a lenient classroom environment (presupposed for nearly all conversational English classes) by being extremely strict, and if necessary, draconian.  I will not take chances knowing the barbaric and primal tendencies a herd of pubescent males could have.

1) Class 2-3 (Grade 2, class 3)

I would learn later that this class is rather infamous for being a difficult one to manage.  That I kicked one of the students out 30 minutes into my first class, then, should come as no surprise.  That I walked out of this class flustered to say the least, should also then come as no surprise. 

I knew they would, and I was prepared; the vocal ones began shouting questions to me without raising their hands, interrupting my speech.  I would give them a look and tell them to raise their hands if they needed something or wanted to say something.


I continued with my introduction, when one particular clown in the back--who clearly enjoyed the presence in his class--continued to shout smart-ass answers to my general class questions.  After my repeated attempts at ignoring, placating, then addressing the issue to him in front of the class, I got fed up and told him to leave my class.  He would say "Sorry teacher, sorry" but I simply repeated "Get out of my class now."  I told him to sit along the wall and wait until I came to get him, which would be twenty minutes later at the end of class.  
The lesson itself went very poorly as well.  The class is so large, that there is little time to pay attention to every chatter, every comment that a student whispers to one another while I am on the other side of the room.  Group-work seems nearly impossible unless I command their attention with absolute authority, something that seemed not even visible on my horizons.  Needless to say, the team activity to get them to play Two-truths-and-a-lie failed because splitting them into any form of group work only led to them chatting it up in Korean or just goofing off.  I felt couldn't help individual students without totally losing the class.

Because the motivation levels also varied so much, no one seemed engaged.  They found the class boring, and simply zoned out.  Participation was minimal and forced, and self-generated enthusiasm would be a concept alien to those 50-minutes.

The class bell rang, and I asked to talk to the class captain, who ended up being the vice president of the student body; by no means did he exude the leadership skills one might presume in the election into such a role.  I then went outside and talked to the clown and told him that I think he's a good guy and we can have a good time, but that I need his help.  Fortunately, I took the bus ride after school with him and another clown from a different class (fortunately because I knew I was quickly building rapport with them).

Intermission


So after that class and through lunch, I felt extremely disappointed, so much so that I questioned my reasons for being here, my worth as a teacher, and what would actually be worth the times of both me and my students.  I felt I had chosen a poor lesson, executed it horrendously, was extremely inefficient with the time, and overall presented myself as and extremely disorganized and unprepared teacher who clearly gave a contrived and unconvincing image of a gratuitously stringent teacher.  Needless to say, I felt miserable.  I received consolation from two of the English language teachers.


2) Class 1-8 (Grade 1, Class 8)

I tried another tactic this time.  When the bell rang at 1:20PM (1:20PM~2:10PM) I locked the doors to the classroom.  I began the class regularly, then had two late-comers show up.  Shocked and bewildered, they asked that I open the door.  I asked them what time it was, and asked them not to be late again.  Once they entered I made them do ten repetitions of an embarrassing dance move, at which the rest of the students laughed.  I knew I had a slightly different beginning, since I began building some rapport just through the laughs.  Albeit the humiliated students probably were less than pleased at this new and unnecessarily dickhead of a teacher who posed as if he were "all-that," but I knew it would be easier to make good with them later.


As class went along, one student had his cell phone.  I confiscated it, and he b*tched and moaned but I ignored it.  I would give it back to him after class, only after I told him never to let me see it again because then I will take it for a week.


The students out-right told me the game was boring, and because I was less-than-willing to fight that battle, I acquiesced and changed plans.  I improvised and played hangman with my name.  Class management and classroom accountability still proved to be very poor, and very difficult.  I walked out feeling only slightly better.


3) Class 2-4 (Grade 2, Class 4)

My most successful of the day.  Since teachers told me 2nd graders are more spoiled (since they are friendlier with the teachers and have spent time on campus), they told me they will be more difficult to manage.  So I decided to go in there strong.

I didn't kick anyone out, but I overheard a couple of students whispering to each other, "Holy shit he's fu*king scary," and, "Wow he might cut my head off with a samurai sword."  I'm glad to be hearing that than its antithesis, whatever that may be.

 I drew out my self-introduction quite a bit, playing a longer flute phrase and also encouraging a beat-box challenge of sorts.  Students started pointing out students who were reputed clarinetists or beat-boxers or rappers.  They were enjoying themselves, I was enjoying it as well.

I shared with the picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger, governor of the great state of California.  I then told them that I will give 1000WON (~$1) to anyone who can spell his last name correctly.  I toyed with the two volunteers by pulling out my wallet and flashing them the money.  They enjoyed the shenanigan immensely.

I scrapped the group-work part of two-truths-and-a-lie and simply had volunteers come up.  Luckily I picked some volunteers whose presence was known in class, so it was never awkward up there.




I realize now, upon reflection (and thanks to this blog really), that what I must exploit in Korean classrooms that is not extant in classrooms in America is the unbending dominion group-mentality has over the students and the learning environment.  The influence the herd can have on the direction of the class and the learning and, ergo the energy and enthusiasm of the environment is unimaginably strong.  Thanks blog.


I finally asked the students to call me Mr. Kim, because with my name revealed to them as "Yoon-Chan," I knew that within Korean dynamics such informality would destroy the teacher-student respect and association crucial to a productive and rewarding learning environment.  It could be different if I had an American name, but for now I feel comfortable as is.  My job is to be a teacher to them, not their friend. 


I'm not trying to change the world, I'm not trying to save lives.  I'm trying to be the best that I could be given the circumstances I have been provided and the responsibility I have been handed to be a conversational English teacher here for a year.


But overall, y'all, what do you think?  Too harsh?